


Can't Sleep (Without You)

by ashwitch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Praise Kink, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 18:42:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19068418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashwitch/pseuds/ashwitch
Summary: The Bunker may be a brilliant new place to call home, but the new sleeping arrangements are causing some serious sleep deprivation.Technically set around Season 8 but there are no spoilers besides the actual bunker.





	Can't Sleep (Without You)

“Really? You finally have your own room and you decide to turn it into an armory?”

Dean turned his head to see Sam leaning against the doorway to his room with his arms crossed over his chest, but nothing could bring him down from this moment and he simply grinned in response, turning back to carefully adjust the Browning semi-automatic hung on his wall. 

“Come on Sammy, live a little! Practical _and_ badass, my perfect combo” he said with a wink. Sam dropped his head and let out a little laugh, before walking back to his own room.  

_His own room._ Dean could hardly believe it. After a life of never-ending shitty motel rooms and run-down cabins, they finally had a place to call their own. Their own bedrooms, bathrooms, not to mention the shit ton of bonuses that came with the place. They finally had somewhere to return to on the down days which, admittedly, was pretty rare but still. They had a _home_. He unpacked the rest of his duffel, carefully placing his pictures on the desk and walked down towards the kitchen.

“Grubs up, Sammy!” he yelled into the hallway before poking his head into Sam’s room. It was completely bare and even his duffel was still packed up on the floor. He frowned and looked over to Sam working at his desk.

“You not gonna accessorize a little? Looks like a serial killer’s bedroom in here”

Sam smiled and swept the room with his eyes “yeah, I’m not really big on the whole ‘home makeover’ thing like you, guess as long as there’s a bed I’m happy”

Dean looked at Sam and saw the inkling of sadness etched on his face. He wanted his brother to be as happy as him with this change but he didn’t know how to help, or even what was bothering him. What he did know was that they were both still exhausted from a pretty nasty Vetala case back in Ohio, so he thought Sam might feel better once he got some food down his throat and a good night’s sleep. Dean remembered his own custom memory foam mattress that he bought and was suddenly _very_ eager to finish for the day. Just the thought of sinking his head into that thing was making him sleepy.

“Alright, let’s eat and then tomorrow I’m taking your ass to a Bed, Bath and Beyond, you gotta make this space _yours_ man”

Sam just looked at him in bemusement. “Why?”

“Because!” But Dean didn’t actually have a good reason other than hoping it’ll make Sam happier. He thought for a second and simply responded “Cause it’ll be good for you, now come on, I’m starving and god knows you’re the only one who can cook something other than boxed mac and cheese”

Sam rolled his eyes and got up, following Dean out of his room and down the hall.

“Hey” Dean began as he walked, “at least we’ll finally have a bit of privacy now, no more jolting each other awake every time we gotta take a leak in the middle of the night”

He heard a quiet “yeah, I guess” as they entered the kitchen.

 

***

 

After a hot home-cooked meal of spaghetti and canned tomatoes, they really need to get some more food in, and an _awesome_ shower in his new bathroom, Dean crashed onto his bed and let out an audible groan, sinking into the mattress. Yeah, he could get used to this.

But three hours of tossing and turning later his good mood had dissipated. It was quiet. _Too_ quiet. No cars shrieking past the window, no muffled arguments or TV seeping through the walls from other rooms, and no sounds of Sam. He’d spent countless nights considering bashing his brother’s head in from the sounds of his snoring or writhing around in his bed, but now that it had gone he kind of...missed it. 

He wondered if Sam was still awake, if he managed to get some shut-eye or was struggling just as he was. After the fifth hour of staring at the ceiling and listening to the deafening silence he gave up, angrily kicking the sheets off and getting out of bed. He looked at the clock and sighed, 3:24 AM, deciding that maybe a walk around would tire him out. Even though this place was basically impenetrable Dean still grabbed the knife from under his pillow and tucked it into his waistband. He can never be too careful.

He had intended to explore the bunker a bit more, seeing as every time he turned a corner he seemed to discover a new room, but as he walked past Sam’s door he could hear cries and moans. His hunter brain kicked into gear thinking he was being attacked, but quickly came to his senses when he cracked open the door, knife in hand, and saw Sam tossing around, eyes squeezed shut and fists clenched. Dean quickly dropped the knife on his desk and walked over the bed, placing his hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“Shh, Sammy, I got ya” he whispered, tracing slow circles with his thumb. It seemed to lull Sam back into peaceful sleep, his face relaxing. Dean turned to walk out the door, but couldn’t bring himself to leave his brother. He was already too wired to sleep and worrying about Sam won’t make it any easier, besides he thought at least one of them deserved a good night’s rest. So instead, he pulled up the desk chair and turned it to the bed. The lack of sleep was quickly catching up on him so he crossed his arms over the edge of the mattress and rested his head on them, drifting off.

 

***

 

Dean woke up the next morning with a crick in his back, but as he opened his eyes he saw that Sam was still sleeping like a log. He smiled gently and quietly placed the chair back in its place before creeping out the door, heading towards the kitchen.

Half an hour later Sam plodded through the door, his hair a complete bird’s nest and rubbing his eyes. Dean looked up nonchalantly and smiled.

“Mornin’ sunshine”

Sam just groaned in response and made a beeline towards the coffee machine.

“How’d you sleep?” Dean asked, taking a sip from his cup.

“Uh, good, I think” Sam replied groggily, “You?”

“Like a baby” He lied. “I’m tellin’ ya, we gotta get you one of those memory foam mattresses, pure heaven”

Not technically a lie, he just hadn’t had the opportunity to take advantage of it yet. Sam grabbed his cup and sat down at the table, rubbing his eyes again. “So, what’s the plan?”

Dean sighed, “Well, our little homestore trip is being postponed, found a possible haunting in Montrose”

“Bummer” Sam said sarcastically. “At least it’s close by”

“Yeah, think it’ll just be a regular salt and burn”

 

*****

 

It was _not_ a regular salt and burn. They ended up digging up three separate graves to find the right body after discovering a disaster back in the 1890’s had lead to a bunch of people being buried at once and all the tombstones being placed at random. Even after finding the right one the ghost didn’t give up easy, knocking them both around before they eventually managed to crawl up and drop the lighter. 

They recollected themselves after it shot up in flames and stumbled towards the car, but as Sam opened the door Dean shouted “Abso _lutely_ not!”

Sam darted up to look at him “what?”

“You think I want mud tracks and grave dirt all over my baby?”

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Dean come on, I’m exhausted man” But Dean shook his head violently in response and opened the trunk to fish out the spare clothes. 

“Change, then you can get in”

Sam knew he would be a fighting a losing battle, so he resigned himself and grumpily trudged over, grabbing the clothes and unbuttoning his shirt. As Dean was changing he spotted Sam’s back, covered in bruises and cuts. The last few cases had been pretty messy and he felt sick seeing the marks they left. It didn’t matter how many years go by, it was still difficult to see his brother in pain. Dean hid his wince as he changed, then quickly threw the old clothes in the trunk and got in the car. Even though the windows were up he could still hear Sam groan in pain and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. Eventually, Sam crawled into the passenger seat, prompting Dean to get them the hell away from here.

It was nearing midnight by the time the boys reached the bunker and neither of them wanted to hang around, instead opting to shower and crash as soon as they could. As soon as Dean’s head hit the pillow he was out, but stirred a few hours later. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock to read 2:49 AM.

“Shit”

Another hour passed and it was clear he wasn’t getting back to sleep anytime soon, and kept thinking, well worrying, about Sam. _I’ll just look in,_ He thought, _See if he’s okay._

So once more he crept out of his room and into Sam’s. He wasn’t as bad as last night but he was obviously uncomfortable, eyes clamped shut and little moans escaping him. Dean sighed and pulled up the chair, but in his heart he knew this was what he wanted to do. Sam was laying on his stomach facing dean, and his hand was outstretched on the bed, so Dean sat down and gently placed his hand over Sam’s, leaning his head down onto the mattress.

_It’s okay_ , he thought, _I’ve got you Sammy, I always do. Just you and me, against the world._

The lack of proper sleep is getting to him, and emotions are beginning to run high. All he wants in this moment is for Sam to be happy, to make him happy. To be close to him. To touch him. Feelings that are old and confusing begin to bubble under the surface, but it’s just so muddy and tangled and he doesn’t have the energy to unpack it all. Instead he drifts off, content with being able to help his brother.

 

*****

 

What was supposed to be a one off quickly became a regular thing, getting to the point where Dean couldn’t physically sleep in his own bed without worrying about Sam. It wouldn’t have been as bad if Sam was sleeping properly, but every time Dean pressed his ear to the door he could hear the sounds of his nightmares. Sure, Sam had had nightmares before, and Dean had his own fair share, but it wasn’t _every_ night, for some reason the bunker was obviously messing with his head. 

But seeing Sam like this every single night was messing with Dean’s head too, not to mention his back. The need to comfort his brother became compulsive, and now when they were just on a hunt or even driving in the car he was checking if Sam was okay. So, he decided that night that he would get in his own bed and stay there, no matter what. It was bad enough that he was doing it at all, but one of these days Sam was going to wake up first, full of questions and confusion. No, he needed to do this.

He regretted his decision almost immediately, but he knew that if he didn’t do this it would quickly spiral out of control. He’d always been fiercely protective of Sam but if he wasn’t careful this fear could mess up their dynamic, make him too worried to hunt properly. He simply lay there, staring at the ceiling, checking the time every ten minutes or so. 

_Sam. Sam. Sam_. Jesus, he was drowning in the thought of him. At one point he swore he could hear a cry, but he refused to give in and check. Maybe he’ll get over the nightmares once he settles in. Maybe.

At 6:30 AM and approximately zero sleep, Dean got up and went to the kitchen, downed 3 cups of coffee, and stumbled into the main room to start researching. He began reading a book about Peruvian spirit lore but the words on the page were starting to blur, and before he knew it he was face down in the pages, out cold.

He was startled awake by a faint “Dean?”, jolting his head up to see Sam stood across the table from him, bleary eyed and smiling.

“Rough night, huh?”

Dean laughed in response as Sam sat down and nursed his own drink. 

“Glad I wasn’t the only one” Sam chuckled, and Dean’s stomach dropped. Deep down he knew Sam would struggle, but he still held the faint hope that he would have been able to fight through it.

“Yeah, well” Dean said, trying to hide the strain in his voice, “At least it’s a research day, that should put a smile on your nerdy little face”

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean, and his stomach knotted. He didn’t exactly know why, just the sight of sleepy Sam with his puffy eyes and mussed up hair welled him up with...something. Christ, he needed some sleep. 

They got on with the day, but every time Sam rubbed his eyes or yawned he felt a pang of guilt. He didn’t want to feel guilty, and god knows Sam wouldn’t either, but he was conflicted. Being with him at night runs the risk of messing up their rhythm, but not being with him seemed to have slowed down their process to an almost complete halt. They’d been out on hunts exhausted before, and more often than not it leads to even more danger, bottom line is they need their wits about them. Dean dragged his hands down his face, deep in thought. What was he supposed to do?

The day dragged on at a slovenly pace, and by around 10PM they were both so fatigued they had to call it a night. Dean pulled himself into his bed, much to the relief of his back, and thought that the lack of sleep over the past week or so was finally beginning to catch up with him as his eyes fluttered shut.

He thought wrong.

Not even an hour later he woke up again, infuriated at himself and considering taking an entire bottle of sleeping pills just to get some shut-eye. “Come ooonnnn” he whined as he grabbed his pillow and pressed it against his face, but he knew he was too awake now. A few minutes pass before he sat up, the thought of Sam overwhelming him. As much as he’d like to say to himself that he goes into his room to calm him from the nightmares, it was obvious at this point that he needed Sam just as much as Sam needed him.

_Am I really that pathetic that I can’t even sleep without him near me?_

He didn’t want to answer that. He could feel his legs twitching, aching to walk over to Sam’s room. But he needed to adjust, plus his back, oh _god_ his back, was also protesting the idea. He lay back down and squeezed his eyes shut, counting backwards from 1000.

He got to 956 before he gave up and left his room. 

Before he went in he pressed his ear to the door, swearing that if he couldn’t hear anything he would go back to bed. What worried him most, however, was that when he eventually heard the distressed noises he actually felt relieved. Another shot of guilt hit him, just because he wants to be near Sam doesn’t mean he should _want_ to hear him in pain. He shook the thoughts, and the implications of them, out of his head as he cracked the door open and slipped inside. Silently moving the chair to the bed, Dean sat and stretched his hand out, but instead of placing it on Sam’s hand or arm, he found himself gently tucking the strands of hair that had fallen onto Sam’s face behind his ear, before resting the hand on his cheek. The touch had almost immediately lulled Sam back into sleep, and the wave of emotion crept back up, inexplicably making him well up.

“We’re really something, ain’t we Sammy” He whispered as to not wake his brother, and slowly removed his hand. He was back in his usual position, head draped over his crossed arms on the side of the bed, his back already aching from the position.

It wasn’t long after he’d fallen asleep that he was awoken by a screaming. He leapt up, automatically grabbing the knife he still carried in his waistband, and quickly realised it was Sam. Whatever nightmare this was, it was a rough one.

“Sam? Sammy, wake up!” Dean said, shaking his brother enough to rouse him. After a few seconds Sam finally came around, squinting up to see Dean bent over him.

“...Dean?”

“I’m here Sammy, I’m right here” He said, still clutching onto Sam’s shoulders. “You were having a nightmare” 

Sam breathed out, then looked down at Dean’s arms. Dean quickly let go and felt the heat rise in his face, but Sam just smiled sleepily at him. 

“Thanks man, I apprecia...why is the chair there?”

Dean blanched. The gig is up. “Uh...well…”

Sam rubbed his eyes, clearly waiting for an answer as he sat up on the bed. At this point it was no use lying. 

“Since we moved in, you’ve been having nightmares and I...struggle to sleep, so sometimes I would just come in here and...sleep. On the chair” 

Sam’s eyes widened, “You’ve been sleeping like that? How many times?” 

“Uh…” Jesus, this was more embarrassing than he thought it would be. “like, every night?”

He scanned Sam’s face, watching it as he looks around.

“The-the day we both had bad nights, it was cause I...I purposely stopped myself from coming in, I thought you’d be able to blow past it but apparently not, I’m really sorry Sam”

“No, Jesus don’t apologize” Sam said as he gestured for Dean to sit on the bed. He obliged, sinking down into the mattress as Sam rested a hand on his shoulder.

“All these years and I still underestimate the lengths you go to help me, I appreciate it man, I really do”

Dean wanted to turn back and mock him for the chick-flick moment, but instead he found himself just looking down and chuckling, “yeah, I think my back may have reached its limit now though, I’m not 26 anymore”

He looked up to see Sam frown, obviously feeling guilty about it. Dean quickly backpedalled in response. “Don’t-don’t worry, I’m fine man. At least you could actually get to sleep alone, I’ve counted the ceiling tiles more than I can remember at this point”

They sat in silence for a few seconds. Sam’s hand was still resting on Dean’s shoulder and he noticed that he seemed deep in thought. Still, he appreciated the little moments like this, just knowing Sam was there, safe, with him. He smiled and gently tapped Sam’s hand in appreciation before getting up off the bed and turning towards the door.

“Wait” Sam said. Dean turned back around, seeing a flicker of panic in his brother’s eyes. Huh.

“Why don’t you…” Sam mumbled, “I mean, like you said, this...helps us, no use in neither of us sleeping, right?”

Dean was slightly taken aback, to be honest he was surprised Sam was this ok with it all. He turned to look at the chair and winced at the sight of it, but as he met Sam’s gaze and saw that he had pulled the covers back and shifted to the side of the mattress, he realized what Sam had meant. He should protest, really, but he was so goddamn tired he was willing to do anything at this point.

“You sure? I know you need all the room your gigantor body can get”

Sam laughed in response and Dean made his way into the bed. It’s not like they hadn’t shared a bed before, and both men were in T shirts and boxers.

_this should be fine, right?_ He thought to himself, but he was way too tired to start denying the chance of some decent sleep.

“Alright” Dean said as he climbed in “but the moment you start sleep kicking me I’m outta here”

“Gotcha” Sam smiled, laying on his back and closing his eyes. Dean followed him, flat on his back, but then he turned his head to Sam. He was right there, right with him, and that’s all Dean needed to fall asleep instantly.

 

*****

 

He stirred the next morning to find himself entangled with his brother. He had his back turned away and could feel Sam’s arm draped around his waist and his forehead gently pressing his shoulder. Even their legs were intertwined, one of Dean’s calves softly pressed between Sam’s, with the other resting on top. He didn’t know if this should weird him out, but instead he simply focused on how _monumentally_ comfortable he was, he’d all but forgotten what a good night’s sleep had felt like. The conflict in his mind was growing louder, however, like he’s missing something. It hurt to think about and he didn’t even know _what_ to think, but it felt like it was in the tip of his tongue.

As he shifted around to face Sam, untangling his legs but keeping his arm where it was, it was when he saw his sleeping brother that the penny dropped.

_Oh, shit._

He felt dizzy, like all the puzzle pieces previously scattered across his mind were finally falling into place. Like he’s been walking towards mirages in the desert all his life when there was a lake by his side this entire time. Like...like...Sam.

Sam. Sam. Sam. It’s always been Sam. Dean kept his gaze on him, slowly placing his hand on Sam’s neck, rubbing the scraggly stubble along his jawline with his thumb. At this point it felt like he was on autopilot and leaned in to press his forehead against Sam’s. He closed his eyes and stayed there, entwined. He could feel the logic of this in his mind protesting, _Take a step back, think about this_ , but he was so overcome by...this, he couldn’t care less.

“Dean?”

Dean’s eyes shot open to meet his brother’s. He half expected him to pull away and ask him what the fuck he was doing. He opened his mouth to say something, filing through a list of awful excuses that could explain it but, to Dean’s shock, Sam then tightened the lazy grip he had around his waist, pulling him in ever so slightly.

“Sam…” he breathed. There was no going back after staring into those eyes, their hold on each other tight and reassuring. Dean cautiously moved his head down, pressing his lips to Sam’s. It was soft, chaste, filled with caution, but in that one small moment Dean felt more alive than he had done in years.

Then his brain finally caught up with the rest of him.

He whipped his hand back as his mind began to race a mile a minute. _Oh my god, he’s your brother, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that?_

He saw Sam’s face shift to panic, matching his own, and felt sick to his stomach.

“Shit, I’m sorry Sammy, I don’t know-I-fuck, I’m sorry” He desperately rambled on and tried to stumble out of bed, not bearing to look Sam in the eye. But as he tried to move he noticed Sam shift towards him and he realized the grip around his waist wasn’t letting go.

“Dean, Dean look at me”

_Fuck._ He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to hear the ‘its ok, it was an accident’ or some bullshit like that. As much as he wanted to bolt out of the room and lock himself in the bathroom he knew he wasn’t going anywhere, so he relented and with tears beginning to well he eventually looked back at Sam, who still looked worried.

“I’m sorry Sammy” he said, voice cracking, but Sam still wouldn’t let go. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Sam spoke.

“Dean, come here” He whispered.

Sam gently leaned in and captured Dean’s lips again, this time slow and grateful. Sam parted his lips slightly, allowing Dean’s tongue to explore his mouth.

_Oh my god what is happening what is-_

Suddenly they shifted and Dean snaked his hand around Sam’s neck once again as Sam pulled them closer, until their chests were pressed together. Sam then turned until his back was on the bed, allowing Dean to follow automatically by straddling his hips, using both hands the caress Sam’s face and neck while Sam was busy feverishly moving his hands under Dean’s shirt, caressing his back, nails digging in.

Dean’s head was swimming. All of this was so unexpected and the adrenaline mixed with panic was messing with him. He decided to pull back to look at Sam, instantly missing the feeling of his mouth. 

“Sam...you really want this?”

He didn’t want to ask it but he knew the lengths Sam could go to to make him happy. As soon as the words left his mouth he felt the panic rise again, but was simply met with a smile. 

“Yeah Dean, I’ve... _always_ wanted this”

Dean looked down in shock and Sam’s face dropped. “Do...do you?” 

_How could he even ask that? I’m the one that kissed him_ he thought, but he assumed Sam was now thinking the same as Dean, the ‘do anything to make them happy’ ran strong in their blood, maybe even to this fucked up level.

“I...yeah, yeah I do, it’s just...new. All of it, this...it’s not exactly been a slow journey from the realization to...this" 

Sam looked at him quizzically, still pinned underneath. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Dean paused, desperately trying to organize the thoughts in his head.  _“something’s_ always been there, and it kept growing and growing every night I slept here, but I put two and two together...this morning"

Sam stared in shock, then burst out laughing. He began to sit up causing dean to move his arms away and lean back onto Sam’s hips.

“What? What’s so funny?!” he truly had no idea where Sam’s head was at, and he started filing through what he said to see if he made a mistake and this became just another thing they don’t talk about.

“This _morning?_ I’ve been carrying this around for _years_ and you manage to get a piece of me after what, five minutes?”

Sam was still laughing but Dean managed to relax back into him, though the knowledge that Sam had felt the way he did for so long made him feel awful in a strange way.

“What can I say, Sammy? I’m just that good” He said with a wink. Sam rolled his eyes and smiled, wrapping his arms around Dean’s lower back and going in for another kiss. Dean quickly obliged but pulled back again.

“Wait, so...when did you know?”

Sam’s face dropped as he looked down.

“uh...sometime after leaving”

Dean couldn’t believe it, but stayed silent as Sam gathered his thoughts.

“I would try and tell myself I just missed you, but one night...I was at a party and got wasted, ended up spilling my guts out to this random girl there.” He paused once again before continuing.

“I said you were an ex to cover my tracks but I ended up saying so much shit to her that I hadn’t even admitted to myself. After that I pushed it down, met Jess, but once we were back together it was too late. I was hooked”. The last sentence was met with a smile from Sam.

“But after all these years? Why didn’t you...say anything?”

Sam laughed and looked at Dean patronisingly.

“Sure, like that conversation wouldn't have been the most humiliating thing in the world. Come on dude, if I’d said anything like ten _days_ ago, let alone ten years ago, how do you think that would have gone?”

He was right, of course. There’s no saying that a proclamation wouldn’t have put them in this exact situation, but there would have been a hell of a lot of awkwardness in between. Didn’t really stop the guilt, though.

Sam could obviously read what he was thinking because he continued on.

“Hey, look” he said, placing his hands on Dean’s shoulders. “I was fine. It wasn’t like this heart wrenching pain 24/7 cause I knew you still loved me. I knew you were there for me, and even after all my fuck ups you stood by my side. That was enough”

Sam placed a kiss on Dean’s cheek, but he was still curious. “Didn’t you want anything more?”

Sam smirked. “Of course I did, but it wasn’t killing me or anything, it was good just to be near you. Truth is moving in here was the scariest thing I’ve had to do in a while” 

“Which is what set off your nightmares”

“I guess so, yeah” He sighed, “I kept worrying that once we had our own space we would just...grow apart”

Dean reached up to cup Sam’s face. “You know that wouldn’t happen”

“Yeah, somewhere deep down I did, doesn’t stop the worry though. Also…”

Sam blushed, intriguing Dean. “what?”

“I...this tiny part of me inside, it always hoped that you’d feel the same way about me, and once we moved in I began to abandon that hope ‘cause of the separation”

Dean let out a small laugh, moving his hand from Sam’s face down his arm. “But instead it had the opposite effect”

“Ironically, yeah” Sam smiled. “Now, I love a good D&M as the next emotionally closed off guy, but I’d _really_ like to get back to what we were doing before”  

“Bossy” Dean smirked as he leaned into Sam once more. The kiss began slow, but it was clear both men began to hunger for more. Dean dragged his hands through Sam’s hair, eliciting a gorgeous moan into his mouth as he tugged gently. Sam’s own hands were becoming desperate as they clinged on to Dean’s back, edging his shirt up more.

“Too...many...layers” Sam breathed in between kisses, so Dean pulled away and lifted his arms to allow Sam the leverage he needed to pull his shirt off, throwing it halfway across the room. Dean returned the favour, almost ripping Sam’s shirt off and soaking in the rock hard body in front of him.

“Holy shit”

He saw Sam visibly blush before the need to be on him overwhelmed him once once more. As he kissed Sam he slowly moved his mouth down, planting kisses on his cheek, jaw, neck, then settled on his shoulder.

“You like it rough, Sammy?”

Sam was panting, his hips grinding into Dean, aching for release.

“Yes, yes, please Dean-” 

Dean cut him off and bit into Sam’s shoulder softly, grazing his hand down his abs and brushing his fingertips along Sam’s boxers, noticing the pre come that was already leaking through.

Sam was getting desperate as Dean kept nipping and sucking at his neck and shoulders, finally deciding to put him out of his misery. He placed his flat palm over Sam’s cock through his boxers, gripping ever so slightly. Sam let out a choked cry and Dean raised his head slowly to Sam’s ear.

“You’re so fucking big Sammy” he breathed, causing another moan to escape Sam’s mouth. Huh, he didn’t expect to get off this much on making Sam feel good, though he probably should have.

As he carefully placed his fingers into the waistband, he kept whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

“Gonna make you feel so good Sammy, so good”

Sam bit his lip until he could taste blood, but nothing could have stopped the gasp when Dean curled his fingers around Sam’s cock, pumping slowly.

“So good, Sammy, so good to me, need this, need you…”

Dean gently laid Sam back so he was flat on the bed, and Sam was quickly grabbing onto his sides as he leant above him. He stroked one of his hands over Dean’s chest and trailed down to press against his straining cock, still restricted by the separating material. The touch sent Dean spiraling, letting out a whimper as he continued to work on Sam. As his fingers nimbly made their way into Dean’s boxers and curled around his cock Dean couldn’t hold his pleasure in, moaning loudly as leaned into the crook of Sam’s neck.

“Yes, Dean, please...”

“Oh god Sam…" 

Sam’s free hand travelled up to cup Dean’s face, pushing slightly so to prompt Dean to look at him. As Dean stared at his brother he couldn’t help himself.

“You’re so beautiful”

The brightness that shone in Sam’s face was mesmerising, as if that look was all he ever wanted in life. Abruptly, Sam had let go of Dean, eliciting a needy whine, but quickly returned when he softly pushed Dean’s hand away and wrapped his own around both of them, stroking slowly. The feel of Sam’s cock against his made Dean light-headed, and he leaned further down to place his own hands around Sam’s face, pressing their foreheads together. Sam quickened his pace in response, both of them panting and moaning.

“I love you”

The words had slipped out before Dean could really process it. But it was true. It was _right_ and he wanted Sam to know. He lifted his head slightly to gauge Sam’s reaction and saw another smile light up beneath him, kissing him hard. 

“I love you too” Sam breathed, speeding up even more as Dean felt his legs turn to jelly. 

“Yes, yes oh my god-I love you Sammy I love you so much oh my-”

Rapid, final strokes tipped Dean over the edge, moaning into Sam’s mouth as he came, coating his hand and stomach. Sam followed shortly after as he cried out Dean’s name.

It took Dean a minute to recollect himself, still reeling from it all, before rolling off Sam onto his back.

“Oh my god” Sam said breathlessly, smiling as he looked up at the ceiling.

“That was…” Dean replied, not able to find the words to accurately describe the pleasure he just experienced.

 “Unexpected?” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah, could say that”

He turned to face Sam, who placed an arm under his head and looked back at him.

“I mean it, you know” Dean said quietly, watching Sam smile in response. “I don’t say it enough or, or always show it but I do, I love you”

Sam leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Dean’s forehead. “I know, I love you too, so much”

Dean grinned like a schoolgirl before turning back to the ceiling. “Shouldn’t this feel...I don’t know, weirder?”

Sam chuckled. “Our whole lives are weird, the fact that we’re soulmates that share a heaven is weird, at this point this isn’t exactly earth shattering”

“When you say it like that, I guess the fact that we know what heaven looks like at all is weird” Dean quipped back, flicking through the mental list of strange shit that has happened to them in their life. Sam had a point really.

“Besides…” Sam giggled. “We already break so many laws on a daily basis, what’s one more?”

Dean let out a laugh, won over by Sam’s weak logic. He felt like he _should_ care, but this just felt so...right.

“Now, I don’t know about you but I _think_ I need a shower” Sam said as he looked down at his stomach. He adjusted himself back into his boxers and walked towards the door, then looked back at Dean.

“You comin’?”

 

*****

 

Sam didn’t have any more nightmares after that day. Almost instantly they moved into Dean’s room, finally taking advantage of his mattress, and as they would lay there entwined with each other at night, both of them were able to drift off with ease.

 

They knew they were safe.

  



End file.
